If you’ve driven on Nigerian roads long enough, you know our “speed bumps” are not just bumps—they’re Everest in disguise. Forget those gentle, polite humps you see abroad. Here, a simple bag of cement, a shovel, and a determined landlord can produce a car-scraping masterpiece overnight.

The recipe is simple:

1. Cement + Sand + Village Meeting = Instant bump.
2. Add zero measuring tape, sprinkle a little impatience, and boom—you have a bump that can test your shock absorbers and your faith in God at the same time.

These cement mountains may slow reckless drivers, but they also come with a price. Hit one too fast and you risk:

• Broken exhaust pipes that suddenly sound like Formula 1.
• Bent rims that wobble like a drunk wheelbarrow.
• Suspension damage that will make your mechanic grin like he won a lottery.

So next time you see a freshly laid “bump,” remember—it’s not just a bump. It’s a free car inspection you didn’t sign up for. Slow down, say a prayer, and glide gently… unless you want your car to start speaking in tongues.

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